I am a Professionally trained Life Coach. I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
What type of relationship would you like to have?
I believe that all fulfilling relationships begin with the desire and intent to meet the needs of the other or being honest about what you are willing, not willing or capable of providing. Also, it is important to have our needs met in order to be satisfied. This being said it is unrealistic and a misconception to believe that our significant other can or "should" meet all of our needs or desires and having this expectation can set you up for disappointment or anger. The approach I use is to discover what you truly want while I work as a mediator assisting you to see the other's point of view. During couples coaching/counseling we take a realistic look at what is working and what is not working within your relationship and set up practices that create a win-win for both people. I am a Professionally trained Life Coach. I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
Non-threatening Communication and Listening Skills are Key
I find that a common difficulty in relationships is miscommunication particularly if one or both parties have shut down or grown defensive. Many well-meaning individuals have adopted the type of communication and listening habits that are destructive to their relationships and to their self. As a result you may end up feeling frustrated, alone, angry or sad and void of the true intimacy you are seeking. If you can relate to this I first want to ask you to be kind yourself since you may be modeling your family pattern of communication and have not had the opportunity to learn and practice new skills. The fact that you are here looking for information to make improvements shows great courage and initiative, something to celebrate, so give yourself a pat on the back! My aim as your coach is to assist you in listening heart-to-heart to what the other is expressing. I will show you how to communicate clearly about your feelings and needs in a way that makes it easier for your partner to receive and you will find it easier to communicate what you have attempted to say many times in the past. You will also discover new ways to hear one another and what is at the root of what your partner says they want or do not want. This new communication style will enable you to re-connect and see them as your beloved and far from your enemy.
What type of relationship would you like to have?
I believe that all fulfilling relationships begin with the desire and intent to meet the needs of the other or being honest about what you are willing, not willing or capable of providing. Also, it is important to have our needs met in order to be satisfied. This being said it is unrealistic and a misconception to believe that our significant other can or "should" meet all of our needs or desires and having this expectation can set you up for disappointment or anger. The approach I use is to discover what you truly want while I work as a mediator assisting you to see the other's point of view. During couples coaching/counseling we take a realistic look at what is working and what is not working within your relationship and set up practices that create a win-win for both people. I am a Professionally trained Life Coach. I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
Non-threatening Communication and Listening Skills are Key
I find that a common difficulty in relationships is miscommunication particularly if one or both parties have shut down or grown defensive. Many well-meaning individuals have adopted the type of communication and listening habits that are destructive to their relationships and to their self. As a result you may end up feeling frustrated, alone, angry or sad and void of the true intimacy you are seeking. If you can relate to this I first want to ask you to be kind yourself since you may be modeling your family pattern of communication and have not had the opportunity to learn and practice new skills. The fact that you are here looking for information to make improvements shows great courage and initiative, something to celebrate, so give yourself a pat on the back! My aim as your coach is to assist you in listening heart-to-heart to what the other is expressing. I will show you how to communicate clearly about your feelings and needs in a way that makes it easier for your partner to receive and you will find it easier to communicate what you have attempted to say many times in the past. You will also discover new ways to hear one another and what is at the root of what your partner says they want or do not want. This new communication style will enable you to re-connect and see them as your beloved and far from your enemy.
How I began Coaching Relationship Communication, A Personal Story
My 17 year Marriage comes to an End
Life being the journey that it is, or as a friend once said, "Like a Long Song" I'd like to share with you a part of my journey to let you know how I began coaching relationship communication and why I think it is so very important. Prior to my current marriage I was in a rewarding marriage for 17 years. With all the good things that we had created together, and the successful partnership that we shared, we still decided to part in 2001. As some of you may know divorce can be one of the most difficult and painful transitions you will experience.
What could possibly have saved our Marriage?
When we made the decision to part it was important to me to take inventory and celebrate what went well over the years and what we could have done that would have made the relationship better or perhaps even saved the marriage. The one thing that stood out above all was better communication, communication, communication! When I looked back at my way of communicating I chose to take full responsibility for how poorly I had done in this area. Having this awareness and before the divorce papers were even signed I was already studying Non-violent Communication (NVC), Compassionate Communication. Through intensive study, practice and greater understanding one of the first things I learned was to give myself compassion for not knowing how to communicate effectively and lovingly.
Why was I communicating this way?
You see, I had adopted the communication style of my family of origin which was based on guilt, shame, blame intimidation, and judgment. Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? And with all due respect to my family I send them compassion for doing the best they knew how to do at the time. Afterall, how many of us have gone to class to learn how to talk with our children, parents or our partners about our own feelings, needs, wants and desires in a way that does not blame, shame or create defensiveness? And how many of us have learned how to listen without taking it personally or hearing without the obstruction of our own filters and blocks based on our childhood or life experiences?
What's the answer?
What I have found most useful with communication in my life and in the lives of couples I coach is to practice a different set of skills. It starts with your awareness what you're doing now just isn't working and the next step is the commitment to change it so you can return to love and closeness. This is where I come in to assist you with these changes. Patterns can and do change with whole- hearted desire, intention and practice. Don't wait until more damage is done let's work on this together starting today.
My 17 year Marriage comes to an End
Life being the journey that it is, or as a friend once said, "Like a Long Song" I'd like to share with you a part of my journey to let you know how I began coaching relationship communication and why I think it is so very important. Prior to my current marriage I was in a rewarding marriage for 17 years. With all the good things that we had created together, and the successful partnership that we shared, we still decided to part in 2001. As some of you may know divorce can be one of the most difficult and painful transitions you will experience.
What could possibly have saved our Marriage?
When we made the decision to part it was important to me to take inventory and celebrate what went well over the years and what we could have done that would have made the relationship better or perhaps even saved the marriage. The one thing that stood out above all was better communication, communication, communication! When I looked back at my way of communicating I chose to take full responsibility for how poorly I had done in this area. Having this awareness and before the divorce papers were even signed I was already studying Non-violent Communication (NVC), Compassionate Communication. Through intensive study, practice and greater understanding one of the first things I learned was to give myself compassion for not knowing how to communicate effectively and lovingly.
Why was I communicating this way?
You see, I had adopted the communication style of my family of origin which was based on guilt, shame, blame intimidation, and judgment. Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? And with all due respect to my family I send them compassion for doing the best they knew how to do at the time. Afterall, how many of us have gone to class to learn how to talk with our children, parents or our partners about our own feelings, needs, wants and desires in a way that does not blame, shame or create defensiveness? And how many of us have learned how to listen without taking it personally or hearing without the obstruction of our own filters and blocks based on our childhood or life experiences?
What's the answer?
What I have found most useful with communication in my life and in the lives of couples I coach is to practice a different set of skills. It starts with your awareness what you're doing now just isn't working and the next step is the commitment to change it so you can return to love and closeness. This is where I come in to assist you with these changes. Patterns can and do change with whole- hearted desire, intention and practice. Don't wait until more damage is done let's work on this together starting today.
What I am: I am a professionally trained Life Coach, also with a background in hypnotherapy(Certified Master Hypnotherapist) and other various modalities of assisting individuals in overcoming barriers to personal, professional, and relationship fulfillment, success and happiness.
see more here: Meet Deborah
I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist. The Life Coaching approach is to identify your current needs and desires then formulate a plan of action using new tools and practices which move you towards your overall goals. The new practices and shift in mind-set will replace the old ways you may have grown familiar with but have not served you or your relationships.
see more here: Meet Deborah
I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist. The Life Coaching approach is to identify your current needs and desires then formulate a plan of action using new tools and practices which move you towards your overall goals. The new practices and shift in mind-set will replace the old ways you may have grown familiar with but have not served you or your relationships.
